The Resurrected Cell Phone

Okay so Josh and I are huge fans of Mexican Food. Two Sunday's ago, we weren't really in the Mexican mood but we were both really hungry and it seemed like there was nothing else to choose from. We went, ate, had a good time, you know, all the stuff we normally do at a restaurant until...I went to the bathroom. Everyone who has eaten Mexican food knows that it can do a number on the average stomach, this is why my mother-in-law carries gas pills (for which I am extremely grateful)!

I had already done something stupid by committing to something for the wrong date! I was trying to straighten out my mess via text messaging so I took my phone with me to the bathroom. I went into the first stall, sat my phone on the back of the toilet, and realized that there was some mysterious liquid on the floor. Well, I was wearing my very fun red velvet pants, and not wanting to get the grossness on them, I took my phone and abandoned the stall. My next destination seemed to be cleaner so I decided to park it there. I followed the same routine with my phone, turned around to get toilet paper coverage for the seat and turned back around just in time to see my phone slip and fall into the dark hole at the bottom of public restroom toilet. I dropped to my velvety knees as I recited a string of curse words in my head. Not only did I have to dip my hand into the clear pool of invisible germs, but I had to DIG! DIG my phone out of that tiny hole that swallows human feces! I got it!

When I got back to the table Josh asked me what was wrong, yes he's pretty good at knowing that scowl on my face. I told him the story and he immediately burst into laughter (it would have been a different story had it been his phone) and claimed he was glad we took out insurance on my phone! I was still less than happy that I would have to pay $50 for the same stinkin phone that I already had. I played with the battery but every time the battery was in the phone it just vibrated constantly! Finally, I was at peace with the fact that I would be phoneless and $50 poorer.

On the way home I stuck my lips directly into my pot of lip gloss to aid my chapping lips. Josh looked at me and asked me if that was sanitary. I told him that I thought it was a lot more sanitary that rubbing my lips with the same finger that dove down into a damn public toilet! Laughter again.

I got up the next morning to go to Verizon. I put the battery into my phone...no vibrations. I dared to turn it on...it lit up! It worked perfectly fine!! I ran to the bathroom to disinfect it for about 15 minutes until I let it touch my face. I feel very lucky that my cell dried out and decided to let me use it again, however, I won't be canceling my insurance anytime soon...this kind of stuff is in my blood.

Who said dishwashers don't discriminate?

OK, let me preface this story by saying that Josh and I are really busy. We both go to school and work so when it comes to other things in life, such as buying supplies for our home, we are sometimes lacking. We let all of the dishwasher detergent (I wasn't the last one to used it but whatever) run out and didn't get anymore. Well the dishes piled up for about a day and a half and we kept forgetting to get the stupid detergent. Well, I was home from school getting ready to go to work and I thought, oh I know, I'll just put some dish soap in the dishwasher and it will be like a mixture of hand washing and machine washing! Brilliant right? I know. Well the dishes cycled through and didn't really come out clean so at most I thought, hmmm, my experiment didn't work, no biggie. So, I did the rest of the dishes by hand and made ANOTHER mental note to get more detergent. So yesterday Josh got some detergent and started to run the dishwasher. We were getting ready to leave for school and I hear loud roaring sound and then a string of profanity come from the kitchen. I ran in to see what was going on and there was Josh straddling the floor and a mountain of soap suds in between his legs. Well it was all I could do not to roll on the floor laughing but I knew he was mad so I tried very hard to contain myself. Josh and I are different. See, in situations like this, I see you are straddling the floor with soap suds all around! That's funny right? But Josh sees the dishwasher is broken, we will have to pay for it, we won't get our deposit back...not so funny, right? So anyway we got some towels to soak up the suds and headed off to school only to later worry about the evil machine.
Being the fix-it-yourself guy Josh is, he researched a sudsy dishwasher on the net and figured out how to fix it. It was a funny (to me) process but it worked. Josh saved the day! So for those of you who are wondering...dish soap and dishwashers are not friends. They are like lions and antelopes, oil and water, rain and a good hair day, etc. I'll just chalk it up to yet another newlywed lesson.

My First Blog

Hello Everyone! Welcome to my blog...this is funny. I've named my blog Internal Monologue because -as it has been so graciously pointed out- mine comes out from time to time. This may make me seem scattered but really it's just my way of processing things. So, now I will try to process things on my blog! Plus sometimes weird or funny things happen to me so I guess I can write about those too! Have a good day!